Renee Gentzel

I had planned to post this sooner but we had website security issues to resolve.

Cancer: 11 Folfox treatments down, 1 left. PET scan to follow. All the oncs are holding their respective breaths, saying they’ll see what the scans have to say. I know I’m in a good position, but reading about cancer stem cells has made me realistic about how my situation can switch rapidly. Expect the worse, hope for the best, yada-yada. I prefer thinking I’m already dead and these days are all from a bonus round I earned.

People keep telling me my county is yellow, soon to be green, so why am I still wearing a mask/staying at home/not allowing Hannah to go play. I simply say I’m still in treatment. They don’t ask me any follow-up questions.

My Thoughts About Events: In 2020, we have been faced with much adversity. A year ago, if you had told me that I’d be diagnosed with cancer, that a pandemic would take over 100,000 American lives, and that we’d be experiencing protests and riots due to the persistent, unlawful treatment and killings of black Americas, I’d be shocked. It’s stranger than fiction, and the world is changed. But we are humans, and we are known for our ability to not only adapt, but to alter our environments to meet our needs. We need to pour our efforts into this strength of ours during these times.

For those who are mad, and passionate, and angry – I say, “Good!” Be angry, be outraged, be motivated. Be hungry for that change. We need to have awkward, weird, uncomfortable conversations as Americans, as humans. We need to be mad and yell at each other – but not let it end at that. Not let it burn out into ash. Slogans get attention, but they are empty words without plans, without ideas, without participation. America’s foundation is a mix of pride and shame – but what would have happened had the revolutionaries thrown all that tea into the harbor and left it at that? The real work comes from sitting down with one another and carving out (imperfect) agreements that take us closer to a better society.

We need leaders and communities to have the courage to describe plans and proposals, even terrible ones. Of all the companies that have spoken out about current events, the only one I’ve heard that laid out a proposal for how to implement new policies to address racism has been Ben & Jerry’s: https://www.benjerry.com/about-us/media-center/dismantle-white-supremacy You could agree with them or vehemently oppose them, but either way, you have to give them credit for putting something out there.

I’m not hating on our police – they are a reflection of who we are as Americans. I have a brother and close friends who honorably serve as police officers. I respect the job they do; I also realize that a job doesn’t automatically turn a person into a saint. As a society, we need to make it harder for people to make moral errors. I believe we can be strong enough as a nation to stop saying, “I am right, so you are wrong,” or “If you need attention, then I must have it, too.” I’d rather we start saying, ” I see that you are in pain and are calling for change. I realize you have deeply rooted stress and even desperation. I may not be aware of your situation or be able to understand your perspective, but I acknowledge that we should always explore how to change for the better. Let’s discuss what would be effective and sustainable.”

I’m sad at seeing everyone get stuck in the stage of cycling outrage.

The most positive story I’ve read recently was how New Zealand, due to their excellent leadership and community support, successfully eliminated the presence of Covid-19 in their nation and are able to have their whole population ‘return to normalcy’. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-06-08/new-zealand-covid-19-restrictions-lifted-jacinda-ardern/12332662 When people show commitment to each other, there really is nothing we can’t achieve. Could you imagine what could happen for the world if we were able to duplicate that in all the additional countries? And if we could apply that same type of mindset to our climate? To racial and class inequalities? And, in my own selfish reflection, to cancer?

Adversity provides an opportunity to show the shine of one’s character – hopefully 2020 will end with everyone flashing a bit brighter.